Girly Picasso painting live at Claridge's Hotel!

On my way to an interesting show
But the traffic makes me teary.
I've got all my artsy stuff in tow
So why is the driver so weary?

The earth heaves under the billowy rug
And I'm trying to make it flow
The party is melting and toasting Krug
Glamour girls all in a row.

Parallax Art Show!

Headline Artist at the Amsterdam Showcase!

A Hot Royal Mess

Everything You're Not

Finally, my first abstract piece of art!

I Get Crazy Without My Carbs

Hunger pains push me to the brink
Cause me to pause and have a think
Of the dancing vicious lightning barbs
That punish me for banning carbs.

At night I simply lie awake
Wondering why I'm smelling steak
When it's really potatoes for which I yearn.
Please tell me- will I ever learn?

Obsessed Much?

Once in a while
Elastic denial
Hits me in the brain with respect.

An idea so vile
It carresses the tile
On the floor of a house derelict.

It creeps up the vines
And it's core intertwines
With the soul of some ghost in the distance.

"Am I smarter or not?"
"Do you think I look hot?"
"Will today be a good day?" for instance.

Lunch in the Sky

At twilight I felt a tickly stitch
A hankering for something kitsch
A nuzzling message from the beyond
Breezes traveling from across the pond-
Whispering leaves of wonder why
I choose to lounge up in the sky.

The nth Degree

When the lights go out
I begin to pout
just wondering how lovely the day must be.

From where you stand
in another land
sipping on your mug of tea.

"Is this local?" you ask the reception
studying the faintest, slight deception
when he tells you that the cookie is from NYC.

I hope you're trying fancy things
and dainty treats made just for kings
cause that's what you are to me.

And when you're away, my heart's on loan
along with my lipstick and telephone
and my mind to the nth degree.

Don'tcha Take My Name in Vain

Love me for my every flaw-
You have to (!) as it is the law
To indulge me without a hint of fight
Or I'll have you placed in jail tonight.

I hate to sound like a broken loop
But these hands can break chips into tortilla soup...
And if that doesn't shake you to the core
I'll shift your keester out the door

Unless you promise here and now
to never again call me a cow
or curse my name under duress
even when I cause you stress.

Princess Buttercup

A buttercup is a flower
that only lasts about an hour
just before the sun is set
you can hold it in your hand and let
it crumple atop your perfect feet
and see if you can meet
the goal that we have set for you
to achieve the things that lovers do
if luck were on your side and something more
that rattles you to the very core.

The Little Gretel is a Hidden Gem

Hidden on a side street
the pitter patter of little feet
dance outside of a magical place
I've stopped at once during a race
to miss the Boerne inbound cars
but not without eyeing some of the bars...
who would have ever thunk this place to be
a refuse with the most talented three
visiting chefs from their hometown of Prague
who were sculpting gnochi into a log
and sprinkled it with plums and spice
and oh my God, it was so nice.

The chef even gave us a bite for free!

Attention: There's a Carousel in Leicester Square

Oh my freaking buggering stars!
Have I been on the planet Mars?
They've erected a massive carousel
in Leicester Square so what the hell?
Are you down to pick a winning horse
cause I'm ready as ready of course
with a bottle of Cristal whenever you want
to go with me on an adventurous haunt
so we can ride the rides in style with a glass,
a smidge for the sake of going with class.

The Weather Mane Spins Faster and Faster

Come with me and you will find
a piece of a glorious, fabulous mind
and all the historic stats that you can mine
posted online with a bottle of shine
in a bag full of milestones I'm ready to skip
like the ping pong ball I want to rip
past your head which elicits a giggle
the moment you savour the hula hoop wiggle
over the neck and then down the spine
while holding a fine vintage glass of wine
which you will successfully master
with the weather mane spinning faster and faster.

29 Candles on the Birthday Cake

On the seventeenth day at the seventeenth hour
I'll put on the kettle and begin to scour
my wardrobe full of nothing to wear
but turbans, tiaras and clip-on hair
which will prove quite useful come this Halloween
when we're posing for the magazine
I've longed to be in all my life
with Jason, Freddy and a butcher knife
balancing a slice of birthday cake
for me to nibble with a yellow snake
draped round back from arm to arm
with an exotic dazzling Indian charm
dangling right in between my eyes
as the birthday song begins to rise
from the glossiest gothic berry lips
framed by velvet hair on skeleton hips
with silver tinkling dancing feet
presenting a fiery birthday treat. 

I Love Me Some Expensive Jams

I crouch way down onto the balls of my feet
Looking for something good to eat
in the dodgy healthy boxed milk aisle
and privately eyeball this gluten-free style
of corn flakes that's on sale today
Aren't the normal ones made from corn anyway?
And how about this jam, what is the deal?
The price is tempting me to steal
a luxurious treasure for me to spread
at home, on hot, toasty buttered bread.
A knock at the door gave me heart palpitations
knowing I'd let down these two great nations
who both have my fingerprints on file
and have seen the cctv of me in the aisle
investigating my theory at great expense
how a jam could cost six pound ninety pence.

Dumpster Diving

Darling, whenever you come near
a thousand angels begin to cheer
like raucous fans at a Dodger's game
my tongue springs forward with a name
for glowing, tender cannibal eyes
not like ordinary guys.
You want to go diving into tips
after a lonesome empty bag of crisps?
Sitting and waiting for you on the bench
I worship this moment... even the stench.